Lineup Card

by J-Mag Guthrie – ttto “Rolling Down to Old Maui”

My bat’s not great but I hit my weight
And I am improving fast.
I’d like to play in games everyday
Even if I’m batting last
I take BP, though I’m not marquee
I have even left the yard
So for this game could you put my name
Somewhere on your lineup card

Somewhere on your lineup card, hey Skip
Somewhere on your lineup card
So for this game could you put my name
Somewhere on your lineup card

I’ve heard you say that I am okay
To steal when I pinch run
And I must opine that my glove is fine
Though my arm is not a gun
I take the drills, hone my fielding skills
And you know I’m working hard
So for this game could you put my name
Somewhere on your lineup card

Samantha’s Lullaby

The AC is humming
The fan spins above
Your mom rocks your cradle
And sings of her love
Samantha, Samantha
It’s no time to scream
It’s time for a lullaby
And dreams

You have a dry diaper
Your tummy is fed
It’s time to be quiet
And rest in your bed
Samantha, Samantha
It’s no time to scream
It’s time for a lullaby
And dreams

Fifteen Ways to Score from Third Base

(to the tune of “50 ways to Leave your Lover”)
by J-Mag Guthrie & Lee Billings

Safe on the corner with the pitcher at the plate
Thought I’d be stranded there, things weren’t going great
Coach said ,”keep your head up–chances happen if you wait
There must be fifteen ways to score from third base”

My eyebrows lifted when I heard what he had said
“The bat’s not in your hands, so use your brain instead
You are the tying run, so get it through your head
There must be fifteen ways to score from third base,
Fifteen ways to score from third base”

“A bags loaded walk, Jacques.
A fielder’s choice, Royce.
If it’s a passed ball, Paul…
Then come ’round and score
Or ask for the squeeze please
You just need to seize these
Take a big lead, Reid
And steal one more”

I thought about it and I figured he was right
We really had to score another run tonight
I might not get the chance, but then again I might
There must be fifteen ways ….

The inning ended when the pitcher took strike three
I always knew there wouldn’t be a guarantee
Still the coach’s words burn in my memory
“There must be fifteen ways to score from third base
Fifteen ways to score from third base”

Give Him Run Support

This is a shanty. You can sing it to the Flying Fish Sailors’ “Give Me Coffe”

There was a mighty pitcher known as the hometown ace
He hardly ever gave up runs or walked a man on-base

Give him run support, one or two
Give him run support, you know what to do

In a start against a weak team they all thought he should beat
He only gave up two runs but went down in defeat

Give him run support, one or two
Give him run support, you know what to do

Too old to throw it harder, too young to pitch it smart
He’s doing all he can, you know, he’s pitching from the heart

Give him run support, one or two
Give him run support, you know what to do

But still he keeps on trying to pitch the perfect game
For that’s the only way he’ll get the win beside his name

Give him run support, one or two
Give him run support, you know what to do

Give him run support, one or two
Give him run support, you know what to do

Friend

There’s something on my mind I’d like to say
Been thinking it forever but I’m telling you today
I’m still afraid my words might come out wrong
Instead of instant messaging, I’m writing you this song

I’m really glad to have you as a friend
You’re someone I can count on and on whom I can depend
Although you’re not the only one, it’s true
There isn’t anybody else who knows me like you do

You showed me I could do things if I try
You gave me many pairs of wings then taught me how to fly
I owe a lot of who I am to you
The way you’ve always had my back, the way you’ve seen me through

When I was hurt so bad I nearly died
You came to me and helped me and stood right there by my side
You held my hand, you held my heart as well
The many things you did for me are more than I can tell

I’m really glad to have you as a friend
You’re someone I can count on and on whom I can depend
I’ve never had a friend like you before
And everyday that passes, I appreciate you more

Snippet of Lyric

(to the tune of Generations of Change or The Ash Grove (trad.))

I have an idea, a snippet of lyric.
It’s something that maybe might make a good song.
The problem I’m having is adding some filler,
Since what I came up with is not very long
It won’t scan to “Greensleeves”, t’s not common meter.
But it has a rhythm, the words are in rhyme.
Although I’m unsure of just what I’ve created,
I know you can sing it in three-quarter time<

Defensive Replacement

(Common meter, but I think the tune to Longcor’s “Truck Drivin’ Vampire” when I read it)

I want to be a starter
Don’t want to ride the pine
Just put me in the lineup
One of the starting nine
I’ll take my bat and take my glove
And show you and the rest
I may not be your only choice
But you know I’m the best

CHORUS:
A defensive replacement
That’s what you think of me
A defensive replacement
Pinch hit, utility
I’m a slugger and defender
And I’m good at every base
I know you want me on the bench
So I’ll just take my place

Remember when last Thursday
It was the second frame
You had the runner stealing
And he wound up half-lame
You called me in pinch-run
And left me in to play
And I was 3-for-4 that night
And turned two double plays

CHORUS:

The last time that I started,
When I went 0-for-4
I took a bases loaded walk
And caused a run to score
My average is a little low
At just .238
But you know I’d hit better with
Some more time at the plate

CHORUS:

EPL Goodbyes

Common meter

I used to check on EPL a dozen times a day
Read other peoples’ articles to see what they would say
I answered Fact or Fiction and I went to all the sims
Yes, EPL was quite the place, when managed by Doug Timms

I wrote the Rookie Handbook full of useful things to know
I played in the casino and I even won some dough
I built and managed websites for a couple dozen guys
But now I think the time has come to say my last goodbyes

Joe Jackson (aka Shoeless Joe)

You came to me in Boston,
You came to me at home.
You said they’d pay us thousands if we’d lose.
You said there were six others,
You left money in my room,
And said there’s only one thing I could choose.

I can’t read, I can’t write,
I can”t play to lose.
Joseph Jefferson Jackson is my name.
You know that you can’t buy me,
I never was that kind.
You can make me take your money—
But you can’t make me play your game!

I went up to see Commie.
I had to let him know!
I tried to tell him that the fix was in.
He didn’t want to see me,
And he wouldn’t let me sit.
So I just had to do my best to win.

But one man can’t do it all
In this game they call baseball.
And I guess I was a fool to even try.
Even though we didn’t win
I’d do it all again.
Joe Jackson is one man that you can’t buy!

It started as a rumor,
The series had been fixed.
Eventually I found myself in court
The jury said, “Not guilty!”
But they brought Judge Landis in.
As Commissioner, he banned me from the sport.

I can’t read, I can’t write,
I can”t play to lose.
Joseph Jefferson Jackson is my name.
You know that you can’t buy me,
I never was that kind.
You can make me take your money—
But you can’t make me play your game!

You waivered me bye-bye

You know I wasn’t hittin’ well, at just .234
I would be hittin’ better, if I’d been playin’ more
I’d be suited up and waitin’, ready every game
But you’d see me sittin’ on the bench and never call my name

And now you waivered me bye-bye
And sent me on my way
You’re bringin’ up some guy
Who’s hittin’ well in triple-A
You know I always try
To look at things your way
But now you waivered me bye-bye
And sent me on my way

I really tried to help the team, I tried to do my best
In fact, if there’s a problem, it’s maybe that I pressed
And you say that I don’t hustle, or give it all I got
When you’re forced to cool your heels so much, you can’t always be hot.

And now you waivered me bye-bye
And sent me on my way
You’re bringin’ up some guy
Who’s hittin’ well in triple-A
You know I always try
To look at things your way
But now you waivered me bye-bye
And sent me on my way